In the past, immigrants and natives alike have referred to this beautiful country as the land of the brave and the land flowing with milk and honey (freedom). In present day 21st century, most people still see our country in that same light. But will we still put America on such a high pedestal in the future? The answer is no- let me tell you why. If we (Americans) keep slaughtering poor, and helpless animals for the sake of our taste buds then, not only will we be the most obese nation in the entire world by 2020; but we will also have exhausted our resources. Already, in the year 2008, we used ½ of all our fresh water supply to feed the corporate meat industry’s animals like cattle, chickens, and pigs- all which undergo stressful and horrible lives due to the fact that the meat industry doesn’t care about their well being, and tries to produce more animals, for less money. More animals for less money means that by the time these animals get to the slaughterhouses they are in pain, limping, cancerous, diseased, and starving. The drugs they are given ( to make them grow faster) are unnatural and hurt the animals, some animals will even die from the drugs, form mutations, or not be able to walk because their weak legs can’t withstand their genetically altered body weight. So why would we even want to eat gross, diseased meat in the first place? Most people would say just because it tastes good... Well, America, I hope it tastes good when we are a fat and poor nation. Also in order to feed and keep feeding these animals farmers have to grow tons and tons of feed- 3/4th of all the grain and corn we grow is for the animals we eat. Aren’t our homeless numbers going up and aren’t there starving people in America who could use that food? We should be growing corn and grain to feed ourselves, not the animals! There are 304,000,000 million people that live in this country, and over 3/4th eat meat, and over a lifetime- that is a lot of consumption of animals. By the time someone reaches 65, they will have eaten 215 chickens- now multiply that by 300 million!
Eating meat is also linked to obesity- what a coincidence. Now, with our super size meals and fast food joints it’s very easy to increase in size very fast. What people don’t realize is that they don’t have to totally stop eating meat like some vegans and vegetarians choose to do; even if a family were to cut back, and cut certain meats and animal products out of their diets they would become healthier, save money, and be saving the lives of animals as well. People need to start caring about their bodies, or they won’t have one! Consuming animals is not the answer to anything… period. It’s definitely not healthier- you can receive the same nutrients from a plant-based diet, it’s not wiser- every bite of meat you take cause pain and conflict for tortured animals, and most importantly, if you keep taking that bite, then America will cease to become the land of the brave (is it brave to slaughter animals?) and the land flowing with milk and honey. Slowly, but surely Americans will watch our land become dry and unfruitful- There won’t be any honey, honey!
The only solution to this problem is to stop eating meat and animal products! And if you lazy sons of gun can’t do that, and then you can definitely cut back on some things... everyone can do that- it just takes a little effort and efficacy. We can save this country, and we can save ourselves.
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introduce my sources.
ReplyDeletefix grammatical errors.
fix conclusion
Very interesting topic that has a lot of backing and support from others. Great use of facts but lack of citations makes me question their credibility. Definitely show where they came from for the final draft. The tone was good although at times seemed too informal. Almost like preaching. Take out some of the metaphors and make it sound a little more professional. Great passion behind the topic enables you ta argue the hell out of it, but the argument goes nowhere. Explore alternative options for meat since cutting it out of everyone's diet completely is an unrealistic goal. Great job giving effects of slaughter houses on our country. Stuff like that is compelling. Great job.
ReplyDeleteI thought this op-ed was great. I thought your facts were great. However, you didn't cite them in your essay. Citing the sources would increase your credablity and make the reader more interested and more invested in the op-ed. I thought the tone was very effective. It was very personal and made your stance obvious. It seemed as if the essay was speaking specifically to me, and it was neat. The information was presented logically. I liked that you tied the beginning and the ending together with that story about America being the home of the brave. You could try to offer more of the "they say". I know you said that people think meat tastes good but you could also add that people eat meat for protein and such. Then, you could go against it by saying other ways to get protein. You could also give examples of what meats should be cut out of someone's diet if they choose to take that approach. Overall, I thought the op-ed was very convincing and I enjoyed it! Especially, "There won't be any honey, honey!" That was awesome. :)
ReplyDeleteI think the intro should be a little different, it seems like you're going to take the vision of America into the depth of America but then you switch to meat and veganism, I think the intro of freedom and the American ideal just doesn't fit very well with the topic. I'd focus the intro on meat or veganism.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind the tone, informality, i think, is the way to go in an opinion article.
Like you said, definitely need to cite the sources, but you now so i won't harp on it.